Remaking yourself can be hard. You stumble, fall, make a mistake, fail a test, hang out with the wrong people, cut someone off on the highway, drop the f-bomb at work, piss someone off, fall off the bandwagon, get on a bandwagon. I am a firm believer in the first impression. It’s the hardest thing in the world to change who you are in the eyes of others.
It’s even harder to change how you see yourself.
Lately, I’ve been feeling different. Vibrant, powerful, wanderlustful, sexy, confident, NOT ME. Or at least any recent version of me. It’s scary. I am beginning to trust myself in a way that I haven’t done in years. I’ve worn LIPSTICK to work every day this week. What the hell is going on?
One drawback: this sudden resurgence of feeling has loosened the effectiveness of spells, mainly ones connected to my emotions. I’m hoping it’s just things coming back around for me to deal with them and actually move on. It’s painful. Do I reset the spells? Do I leave them be?
Despite the highs and lows, I feel something rising in me, a newness. Something big is on the horizon for me. I’m paying attention and changing accordingly.
© Ariadne Woods