As a witch, sometimes I feel like I should be mistress of the universe, all-powerful mortal goddess. All of my problems and the issues of those I love should disappear.
Yeah. Right. Life is life: birth, death, loss, rebirth, successes, failures, love, hate, passion, and harvest. Nothing is perfect or peachy all the time.
I learned this cold hard truth the hard way. The same summer I became a witch, a close relative was diagnosed with cancer. In a short amount of time he went from a vital, healthy gym rat to a frail and dying man. Every spell, every casting, every working was directed to making him better. But fate’s funny sometimes. To this day, I have no idea if my work made any difference because he died on Samhain.
A couple of years later I find myself in a less life-and-death, but still serious, situation. Many members of my immediate family are in crisis for a variety of reasons: unemployment, marriage on the rocks, illness, etc. I find myself hesitant to do any magicks to help.
Because I don’t want to fail.
Because most of the time my family makes me feel like the resident black sheep and perhaps my anger is getting in the way.
Because I don’t want to make anything worse.
Because I don’t have anyone’s permission to do anything.
Because… my relationships with most of my family members are complicated, strained and not emotionally open.
Perhaps the root of the problem resides in personal issues that need to be resolved before magic can make any difference.
© Ariadne Woods