Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. For some people it’ll be a great day with your partner. For others experiencing problems in their relationships, the day might seem weird or off. For single ladies and gents, it can be a bittersweet holiday. Whatever your relationship status, this is a time of the year for love.
Which means it is time for the love spell talk.
There is a lot of material out there regarding love magic and ‘snaring a mate.’ Some of it is harmless, for example workings a couple does together to work on and strengthen their relationship. Some of it is deceptive and destructive, such as anything that advocates using a specific person in mind when doing any love spell. Why? Free will. Fucking with it is not only stupid, but also unethical. Not only are you affecting the person’s life, but also the life of the person they are supposed to love. That is a lot of heartbreak going on just because you are lusting after someone. Trust me, it will bite you in the ass.
As someone who was single for a very long time and is adjusting to being single again, I understand your perspective. Maybe you have never been in a relationship and you long for that experience. Maybe you have been dating for a while and are ready to settle down with the right person. Maybe you have had bad relationship after bad relationship and you want to change those patterns. Maybe you recently got out of a relationship and are considering getting back out there. Maybe you have been divorced or widowed and are scared to move on. What do you do? How do you effect change to bring someone fabulous into your life?
Honestly, you have to get your shit together before a partner can come into your life. In my life, the times I have been happy, confident, and comfortable in my own skin are the moments love has come into my life. And when I have lost my way and disliked myself, I have lost love. In fact I didn’t have much of a love life until I embraced the witch in me. I think there is a strong correlation between the love and acceptance of self and the love from others. It’s magnetic, draws the right people to you. As I have seen on many a t-shirt, ‘confidence is sexy.’ Sometimes though, getting your shit together means being alone for a while. Taking the time to consider your life and ethics. Making a few changes. Getting comfortable in your own skin. And that is fine. It’s scary as hell. But it is so worth it.
If self acceptance is an issue for you, there are a few things you can do both magically and mundanely:
- Affirmations: Little sayings you use every day to bring about a new truth about yourself. There are lots of resources online and anyone from any faith can use these. I recommend using mala or prayer beads as a tool to help you concentrate on your affirmation. If need be, making this part of your Morning Ritual or Greet the Day.
- Little Luxuries: One thing you do on a regular basis just for yourself. For examples, I buy flowers and paint my nails every week. Both activities make me happy and bring a little beauty and harmony in my life.
- See a Professional: If you suffer from deep seeded self loathing, perhaps this is something you cannot tackle on your own. By taking to step to reach out to a psychologist or religious professional, you already put yourself in the right place to believe in your awesomeness.
Alright so you have been working on yourself and you know you are ready to begin a new relationship. This is the perfect time to consider a little magic. Again, not for a particular person. We have covered that bad idea. The best advice I can give is to stick to qualities, not specific ideas. Write down everything you want in a partner before you do any workings and keep those qualities in mind when doing any sort of magic. Just let the Goddess and God know ‘okay I am ready.’ Put the vibes out there. And starting making room in your life for someone wonderful.
© Ariadne Woods