Direction: Having versus Taking

Two weeks ago, I graduated with a Master’s degree and officially entered the job market.  I’m in this weird suspended state of being. Until I have a job (which in my field takes a few months to get), I can’t really move forward with my career and housing plans.  So, it looks like I need to make plans about what to do next.  And everyone in my life seems to have an opinion about what that should be.  My mother thinks I should stay in New England.  My sister thinks I should take any job that lets me live in any city (preferably in the one she resides so we can hang out more).  My aunt thinks I should take the highest paying job I can get. My friends think I should move to wherever they currently live.  And my grandmother thinks I should wait for my dream job.  Now these are a lot of opinions being fired at me.  While I know they are all well-meaning, but holy shit it’s hard to let my plans take fruit when I’ve got so many other people’s expectations floating around in my head.

But seriously.  I need to establish a little direction.

Personal direction refers to the idea that a person has goals, hopes, and dreams regarding what their life should look like in the near and far future.  This can pertain to profession, personal, and spiritual aspects of life.  Furthermore most Witches, Wiccans, and Pagans I know have a strong sense of personal direction.  I mean think about it.  We have to know the outcome of our spells and prayers before they can be cast.

So how does one find direction?  Direction can come from so many different sources.  The best comes from within and through a personal relationship with the God and Goddess.  Knowing what you want and what your gods suggest will go a long way to knowing what is best for you.  You can achieve some clarity through meditation, journaling, praying, and experimenting.  What tends to kick people in the ass is pressure from outside sources.  Now not all of this is bad.  Some people in your life are put in your path in part to encourage your dreams.  For example I had an internship supervisor who saw my budding interest in my field and made sure I got exposed to every aspect of the profession.  These people are invaluable to your success, as CharmingPixieFlora elaborates on in this video.  However, for every set of “believing eyes” there are also haters and doubters out there who do not believe in you or your goals.  Sometimes these people may surprise you because you expect them to offer support on your dreams, yet they prefer for you to fulfill the dreams they have for you.  Their reactions really can hurt and make you rethink your personal direction.  For myself, I have a sibling who I have to be careful around when I am talking about my future.  She can be extremely prescriptive about what a “good life” looks like.  When I share a goal that she disagrees with, she always rambles on why I am wrong and really want whatever she wants.  What I’ve noticed is that people who tend to be negative about your goals and dreams is that nine times out of ten they do not mean to be malicious or mean-spirited, but rather are experiencing a dissonance in their expectations in relation to your vision.  In other words, they’re overreacting.  Back to my example, I know my sibling loves me and means well.  It just takes her a little more time to come around to seeing and believing me.  My best advice for you when you encourage doubters is to not take their criticism to heart.  I know, easier said than done.  But just remember, for as much as that person doubts you as long as you believe in yourself your dreams will happen.

For anyone who–like me–is in a strong transition point in their lives but feels like they do not have that strong sense of encouragement around them, I strongly encourage you to keep looking and to reach out to people you might not expect to encourage you.  Remember that supervisor I told you about?  When I first met him at the interview for that internship I thought he didn’t think I was competent for that position because he didn’t ask me a lot of questions.  Was I wrong.  He later told me he kind of dazed off in that interview because he know I was perfect for the job.  My advice to you is to be open to these encouraging people in your life.  I know you might feel bombarded by haters and therefore are letting their negativity affect your ability to realize your dreams, goals, and directions. But take some time to overcome that.  The more you verbalize how you see your life whether in ritual, to yourself, and to other people who really believe in you, the firmer it becomes.  Therefore it will happen that much faster.  And how awesome is that?  For myself, I am developing a strong vision about what I want my life to look like.  The more I tell the people who encourage me, the stronger that dream feels.

So go out and find the people who believe in your vision of your life.  And in return encourage other people’s dreams in turn.  You know, keep the good energy flowing.  And as always, don’t stop dreaming and believing and creating a life that you love.

© Ariadne Woods

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